One of the things that most asked us during our 7-month trip through Southeast Asia was “And how do you get to spend the whole day together?” A question not too surprising if I put myself in the place of the person who asks it. And traveling with the person you love is not always synonymous with happiness: there are always setbacks and knowing how to put a good face on bad weather is not always easy. For that reason, and based on our experience, I leave a small guide of things that were very useful for us to cope with the burden of traveling with your partner.
There are two types of people: those who like to have everything planned, and those who love to improvise. In most couples there will always be one more planned and the other more “crazy”. Well, to avoid that the work of the school happens (in which one does all the work while the other looks), you have to be honest with yourself and decide what things one will take care of, and what things the other will take care of. It is a good habit for two reasons:
Our own workspace.
We will not have to depend on our partner to make decisions. That means a little more personal space and to avoid friction for silly things.
We can really feel that the trip has been thanks to the effort of both, and that is positive even when things go wrong, because nobody can reproach the other who did not contribute anything.
Example: Vicki is a lynx when it comes to getting cheap flights and thanks to her profile it is much easier to get Couchsurfing hosts, so she normally takes care of those tasks. I, on the other hand, am very familiar with maps and routes, so I usually plan the local places and transports, and, if necessary, I am in charge of haggling in the markets (I have had enough experience from past trips). In this way, we complement each other and in the end, everything is more fluid.
Give personal space: solitude in doses
This is an advice applicable to a holiday relationship or not. But on vacation, we tend to overturn our partner, for various reasons: we are probably in an inhospitable place, we do not know people, and it is easy to be a bit defensive in the face of any unforeseen event. Consequence? we lock ourselves in our bubble without wanting to.
Depending, of course, on the type of person we are and the time we are on vacation it is more than likely that a point will come when we need a break from our companion. I think the best solution is to raise this situation before the holidays, in this way, nobody can think that there is a hidden reason for such a suggestion. Sometimes, something as simple as going for a walk can be vital to maintaining a certain inner balance.
Avoid saturating the trip with activities
The more activities the more chances of setbacks can occur, and because of this, the possibility of problems with your partner increases. If you are a couple that has not traveled too much together, it is always advisable to start small and soft. Knowing how to give space to your romanticism is as key as knowing how to give it space. And neither will be possible if you plan to visit 5 churches and 2 parks in one day.
Socialize with people (with local people if you can!)
When traveling many times we forget that we are in a place where beyond the tourist attractions, people live too !. Bearing in mind that there are a few barriers (such as the language or protocols of that culture) that can make communication with local people difficult for us, we will always be able to socialize with our cohabitans: tourists.
In short, the important thing is to get out of conversations about friends, locals and the family we already know, since it is ironic that what we seek most when going on vacation is … disconnect. So to avoid a certain embarrassment about the reality that we already know, or to avoid difficult issues with our partner, it is always a very healthy alternative to meet people who help us open up to another reality.